The last Sunday in September is U.S. Gold Star Mother’s and Family Day of Fallen Military Sons and Daughters. This day is a tribute to all parents whose children died while serving in the US Armed Forces. As we recognize this observance, this year I have new found pride in being a founding member of Selective’s newly formed Military and Veterans Employee Resource Group (ERG). The ERG’s mission is to promote veterans’ individual and collective growth through professional development, networking opportunities, communications, outreach, and veteran recruiting events. I am excited to help veterans in our organization and keep my son’s memory alive through my work on the ERG and sharing my Gold Star Mother story.
Alex often talked about joining the Marine Corps as a child. During his senior year, he’d waver between the Marine Corps, Army, or not enlisting at all. He finally decided to enlist in February of 2008. At 17 years old, he sat at our dining room table with his recruiter, his father, and me and enlisted in the Marine Corps. Because he was a minor, we also had to sign for consent, allowing him to make this commitment and sacrifice.
While at boot camp, he wrote us short letters; he didn’t have much time. But he gave us a glimpse into what life was like at Parris Island, South Carolina and I’m so glad I have these letters. I’ll never forget how he signed off his first letter to us: “I miss you all very much, love you, please pray for me.” Having those words written in his handwriting is truly a blessing!
My son graduated boot camp at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island. He turned 18 on the rifle range, and came home with a new confidence we hadn’t seen before. He went to North Carolina for Marine combat training, then onto Pensacola, FL for his aviation training. After nearly ten months, he was assigned to his Permanent Duty Station: Camp Pendleton in California. He was part of HMLA-369, Marine Light Attack Helicopter Squadron as an air framer. They are known as the Gunfighters. He was deployed twice to Afghanistan for Operation Enduring Freedom in 2010 and 2011.
On April 6, 2013, while riding his motorcycle with friends, a young Marine in a truck made a left turn in front of Alex. The driver did not see him. Alex had no time to react and died at the scene. His wife called to give us the news; we were all devastated. The hours and days following that moment are all a blur. I have distinct memories, but I’m not always sure of the order. I remember being surprised when late that night, a Marine showed up at our door. Most of our family was at our home trying their best to support us. I guess I thought they only sent an in-person notification when your Marine was deployed, but a kind and compassionate man came to our door to tell us what we already knew. He spent time with us, explained what the next steps were, and offered the support of a grateful nation.
It was during one of my meetings with our Casualty Assistance Calls Officer that I was given my Gold Star. I knew about Gold Star Mothers, but didn’t think that I would be considered one, as my son didn’t die in combat. As he handed it to me, my first thought was that I didn’t want it. I put it away and didn’t think about it. As Christmas neared, a local group was participating in Wreaths Across America, and they planned to lay wreaths at the cemetery where Alex was buried. As we got ready for that event, I took out my Gold Star and attached it to my coat lapel. That star represents the most heartbreaking thing I’ve experienced, but it also represents one of my proudest accomplishments: my son. I am honored to have it.
Establishing Selective’s Military and Veterans ERG and working with veterans gives me another continuous opportunity to honor my son. I am proud to be a founding member and look forward to our first event this fall! Taking time to help those who have served our country helps me use the loss that I’ve suffered in a positive way, and for this I am grateful.
About the Author
Natalie Buccieri is a Distribution Strategies Specialist in the Insurance Strategy & business Development team at Selective. Natalie and her husband Dan have four children, Alex is their oldest. When not working at Selective, Natalie enjoys spending time with her family, relaxing by a body of water (lake or ocean), kayaking, walking, and reading. She serves as a Councilwoman in her hometown of Vernon, NJ, and was a past member of the Vernon Board of Education.